Slut = my least favorite word in the human vocabulary

Imagine you’re walking down the street in your brand new Forever 21 top and your favorite blue jeans, strutting to the tune of your favorite day dream.

You get called back to the real world by a whistle. A random whistle from a random man on the street that is directed at you.

You blink and look over. He says “Hey there slut!” or “Looking good slut” or “Your sluttiness is staggering, slut”

I don’t know about you, but I would, under no circumstance, find the association of the word “slut” with me a compliment. Far from it in fact. It would be an insult.

As with most things in life, I have a clear and unwavering stance against the sensationalized “SlutWalks” that are gripping the world yet I can see why women are flocking to them. It is infuriating that a police officer dared utter the idea that if women don’t want to get raped, they should stop dressing like sluts. It gets people’s blood boiling, as it should. It gets mine too. I’m fervently against any form of victim blaming. My roommate always says this and I want to reiterate the concept here: “I don’t give a flying fuck if I’m standing on the street corner naked, selling my shit for two cents. If I don’t offer myself to you, I’m not yours to take” Victim blaming in terms of rape is definitely something to take a stance against, but not by participating in “SlutWalks”

As a feminist, I believe the word “slut” is sexist and it has connotations that are seriously based in sexism. In today’s world, “slut” means a woman who is “easy.” How does society determine whether you are a woman who is available to offer sexual services to any Tom, Dick, and Harry? By the way you dress, by the number of sexual partners you have, by the friends you associate with, by the amount of alcohol you consume, by the number of male friends you have, etc. The term “slut” ignores the fact that women are complex human beings with complicated personalities, pasts, choices, and relationships. But rather, it focuses on one mundane fact about the woman and presumes to know her entire being.

The term “slut” is not one to celebrate. “Slut” isn’t a word that women can reclaim because it was never our word to begin with. As a woman, I will never consider being called a “slut” anything other than an insult. Pictures from SlutWalks with women carrying signs that say “Proud Slut” make me cringe. While the police officer’s comment was definitely victim blaming, it was also labeling a woman who on one occasion was wearing what HE deemed as too revealing a “slut.” He is insinuating that dressing a certain way on a certain day means you are shouting to the world that you are an “easy” woman with no dignity. How can a word that boxes women up into a morally condemning space based on the choices that she makes be one that feminists want to “take back”?! Especially since there is no male equivalent for the word! (I dare you to have the audacity to say that “player” is a male equivalent for “slut”). Furthermore, society especially men, are the ones who decide who is a slut and who isn’t–not the so-called “sluts” themselves. Society gauges women’s behaviors and deems them “sluts.” You, as a woman, have nothing to do with getting the label. You, in this sense as well, do not own the label. It isn’t yours to give to yourself which is all the more reason to denounce it rather than attempt to “reclaim” it. 

We should fight victim blaming; and that’s what the people participating in SlutWalks intend to do. But there is a larger battle at stake. 

By participating in SlutWalks you may be bringing awareness to victim-blaming. But you are also losing something. Yes you have a right to walk around dressed in next to nothing and expect to not get raped. But you also have the right to walk around dressed in next to nothing and have people not label you a derogatory term that makes assumptions about your sexual past, present, future, availability, and integrity.

The image of women parading around in suggestive/barely-there/playboy clothing with the label of “sluts” isn’t something new. We are bombarded with such images in the popular media. This idea of hyper-sexualized women willing to do anything for men is the heart and soul of most music videos. The last thing the feminist movement needs is well meaning women playing the same stereotype out in the streets. Girls grow up watching and hearing their favorite artists calling them “hoes,” “bitches,” and “sluts.” As women, we have a tough job of dealing with the dominant stereotypes created by men about our sexuality. It muddles the field and blurs lines that should otherwise be crystal clear when these same stereotypes are further perpetuated under the guise of feminism and for the purpose of empowering the victims of rape.

I understand that the intentions behind the Walks are noble. I really do get it. I get how women may feel it would be empowering to “own” the word; to walk around their cities “owning” the term slut. But some words are not meant to be owned; they are meant to be fought.

Fight the mentality that you are an object.

Fight the mentality that your sexuality is society’s business.

Fight the mentality that your appearance says anything about you.

Fight the label that assumes it knows you.

Fight the label that has ruined girls’ self-esteem and lives worldwide.

Fight against victim blaming. But also fight for your right to be you. Fight for your complexity, your intelligence, your choices, your sexuality, your freedom. 

I’m not a slut. Neither are you. Fight whoever dares label you as one–even if that someone is well-meaning feminists.